Sorrow

Life is difficult. It does not take adulthood to learn this. Challenges start early enough. If not your own then certainly your family or friends. People develop different ways to cope. Much of this is shaped by your formative years. How did your parents behave? Did they share their sorrow? Did they smile no matter what? Did they tell you it would be fine? No matter what? Did they unknowingly teach you that you needed to appear to be fine; regardless?

Parenting is never easy. Its hard to find the goldilocks mean. Too much? Too little? Reprimand? Don’t? Give Freedom? Suppress? You are constantly making choices. None that are easy. With maybe a million books written; precious little is understood. Knowledge always fails you when you need it, doesn’t it?

In the movie Life is Beautiful, the central character protects his child from the horrors of the concentration camp. He does this by converting reality into stories. Perhaps, in such severe circumstances, it was a much required feat. Otherwise, I would argue it may be better to expose your children to sorrow. It exists and you cant change that. Instead by making it seem normal, perhaps they can be taught to cope. Coping starts with accepting thing as is. Coping is the realisation that sorrow is a part of life. Something that we will all confront. The severity and frequency may vary. However, its unlikely you will be unscathed.

Learning what is normal allows a child to stop suppressing. Or worse escaping. He or she might learn that parents too experiences sorrow. It is hard and needs strength to cope. However, we do overcome. More often than not. Strength, like other skills is acquired and can be developed. My own golden mean is to let children learn that life is tough. We will however, always always be their rock; no questions asked.

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