I started to meditate about two years ago. It felt strange to be sitting just doing nothing but I persisted despite the lack of knowledge, understanding or technique. A book that I had read showed an interesting way of meditating – sitting cross legged with your hands locked together and placed on your lap, a straight back and neck and eyes closed. A friend told me to focus on my breath as it went in and out and increasingly try and deepen my breathing. I was ready to meditate.
The early days were filled with angry thoughts against anyone and everyone in the world that had done wrong by me or frankly even wrong to the world. This is normal and a lot of people stop at this point, believing that they can’t do this as it only triggers negativity. In reality the mind is only releasing pent up emotions. I persisted and gradually the negative thoughts faded away as though it didn’t really matter. In reality it didn’t really matter because all thoughts were either of the past or the future, neither of which was reality. Over time, I began to realize that the only reality was here and now – the present moment. The present was in my hand and I could control it!
I persisted and found myself being able to sit for longer periods and at times not think anything at all, not even focus on my breath. I didn’t need a crutch anymore to meditate. Its a strange place to be in, what the masters call mindlessness or no mind. Mindlessness is not trying not to think but actually not thinking – not even thinking that you are not thinking.
I can meditate now for long periods much of which is spent in peace. Try it, it will change your life.