We have all had bad experiences. Some worse than others. A friend doing something you could not image, a business partner using unacceptable ethical standards, your brother or mother acting in a way that hurt, failure at work or in your personal life. The list is endless. Humiliation, hurt, pain, anger are emotions that surface not just at the point in time when the event occurs, but oftentimes long past the date.
People use different skills to react and respond. Some plot revenge, some get upset and break down and a lot of people simply just suppress the emotions or feelings because its just too hard to deal with. Becoming cynical or indifferent is not abnormal in these circumstances. Eventually we all need to deal with the experiences of our life and find a semblance of balance that allows you to interface with your world and yet have your own sense of what you will accept and what you won’t. We all need to find our own cocoon.
Toward this goal of finding your own sense of peace is something that at first blush seemed not to make any sense at all. Acceptance. Acceptance is different from rationalization, explanation, justifying, dealing or even reacting for that matter. Acceptance is simply that – accept that something happened. It requires you to allow the thought, feeling or emotion to surface to your active consciousness and you observe that feeling without trying to justify it in any way. You simply observe. It is painful. It is also strange to imagine that you are trying to not deal to deal with something. We are so used to active management that its hard in the beginning to grasp that what seems like inaction can be action.
The great masters talk about acceptance as a wonderful tool to find your own peace. It is not about forgiveness or letting go, this will happen, but about being able to just observe and say “this happened.” Over time, you will find yourself at peace.